MARCONI DREAMS

I was driving around my sometimes town yesterday, listening to KING-FM, Seattle’s unique (partly because it’s the city’s only) classical station. You too can hear it at KING.org. It was afternoon drive time and Sean MacLean was the host. A selection ended and Sean said, “Oh, here’s our program director, Bryan Lowe.” Lowe then proceeded to say that he had a surprise…after this message. Sound: MacLean’s teeth, grinding. After the commercials, Bryan announced that the surprise was a new release that had just come in the afternoon mail, and he brought it right in to play on the air. The reason I’m flagging this as a radio station health warning: Program Directors are supposed to neither be seen nor heard. They’re behind-the-sounds people. When you hear one take over the scheduled announcer’s show to play new music, you’re witnessing a certifiable outbreak of PD’s Disease — the affliction many or all program directors develop. It’s caused by the painful isolation of the former disc jockey who’s been promoted out of the limelight. Symptoms include promotional announcements that begin, “Hello, I’m ____, Program Director of ____….”, sudden appearances in the studio with the purpose of assuring themselves they can still do the job and remind the on-air worker that they really have the power, and the audience that they’re the real genius behind the programming. It’s a devastating disease, this PD’s scourge, frighteningly contagious, also infecting the announcer on duty with an inexpressible rage. Unfortunately, there is presently no known cure.